Why I Stopped Training Like a Bodybuilder

After ending my soccer career in high school, I started going to the gym. I wanted to be a lean, mean lifting machine. Seriously.

Except for our weekly weight room sessions, I was pretty unfamiliar with weightlifting. All the weird-looking machines and grunting men were very intimidating to me. I do love a good challenge, though (especially against myself). I was also in the early stages of healing from a traumatic assault; the idea of being physically strong gave me hope that I could strengthen my mental weakness, too. I got a gym membership and started going pretty regularly.

I'm sorry Jadyn but WHAT WHY A COLLARED SHIRT

Initially, I loved it. I was learning a lot of new movements and improving my terrible form. I was progressively lifting heavier weight and regaining the confidence I had lost. The gym fits were questionable but Rome wasn't built in a day, right? Going to the gym did, however, create some bad habits for me.

Because of what had recently happened to me, I hated men. Every. Single. One. None of them could be trusted. They were disgusting, selfish, and out to get me. So, whenever one barely glanced my way in the gym, I kindly returned them an evil, ten-second-long "I hope you die" glare. There may or may not have been a few confrontations in the early stages...

The fact that I was lifting heavier also gave me a subtle, but definitely present god-complex. I loved looking at myself in the mirror. I loved seeing people ogle at the weight I was (barely and very incorrectly) lifting. Guys started telling me how strong I was and girls started asking me for my routines. I felt so good. I wasn't the girl he could mess with anymore.

At times, though, I did question why I did it. Why did I want to lift so heavy? That was literally my only goal. I wasn't a powerlifter. I didn't have a bikini show coming up. I only enjoyed the fruits of my labor inside of the gym. Outside of it, I felt bulky and unathletic, like the muscles I gained had no purpose. I missed feeling athletically strong as I did when I played soccer. A part of me missed running? Missed breaking a sweat? Missed BURPEES?!

Me n AJ post rainy run (ft. the wires)

So, I switched up my training. I started running more. Started using kettlebells. Started working on handstands, pushups, pull-ups, and pistol squats. Started focusing on explosiveness, balance, control, speed, and power. AND I LOVE IT!!!!! I have so much freedom in exercise now. I'm not in a PPL or bro split. I have a lower body day, an upper body day, two full body days, and a sprints and core day. These, of course, are not set in stone! If I want to run five miles on a Sunday in the rain, I'll do it (and I did!!! SO FUN). If I want to stay at home and do a thirty minute Pilates video instead of going to the gym, I'll do it (AND I DID!).

Being strong IS for men and women. Even the beloved Proverbs 31 woman "dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong" (v. 17). But don't lose your femininity in desiring to become physically strong. That's what I was doing. You're not a man. If you don't want to have a 400 pound deadlift, that's okay. If you do, that's okay, too! "Is this glorifying to God?" is the question we should ask ourselves.

Here are some verses that help guide my motives with exercise:

"Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." 1 Timothy 4:7-8

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Soli deo Gloria!!!

Jadyn