Pulling Weeds

"Make sure you pull up the roots. If you just pick the top off, it'll grow back."

My dad loves pulling weeds. It is one of his favorite past-times. He comes home from work, changes into his tasteful dad-fit of a white t-shirt and cargo shorts, heads to the yard, and pulls weeds until my mom calls him in for supper. When I was little, he'd let me help him, but only if I pulled the entire weed out of the ground. He takes pride in our yard. Even though we live in the boonies and have no neighbors.

A professional tractor operator since day 1

I've always admired my dad. We are very similar; my mom reminds me that I am my "father's daughter" (often with an eye roll and exasperated sigh). Growing up, I spent a lot of time with him outside. He was my teacher in the outdoor classroom. We'd go on walks in the woods, him pointing out different types of trees and me picking wildflowers every five minutes. We'd go to the lake, sit on our "thinking log", and he would ask me to identify various animal tracks (and animal feces). I learned a lot from him. Recently, one lesson has resurfaced in my current walk with the Lord:

You have to pull weeds up by the roots.

I am struggling with a persistent sin. It has developed over the course of several years and, guess what? I'm finally sick of it. Last week, I was talking to a Christian mentor about this, discussing how this sin started and why I continue to do it. I told her that while this sin used to be something that brought me instant gratification and fleeting comfort, it is now simply a stubborn, ugly, bad habit. Mentally, I am doing really well! Y'all, this is a FEAT for me. My testimony is riddled with anxiety, depression, PTSD, all the things. So, if I'm mentally healthy, why am I continuing to walk in a sin that started when I was mentally ill?

You have to pull weeds up by the roots.

It's easy to recognize sin in our lives and choose "easy repentance" instead of fully turning away from it (which is what repentance actually is). In other words, we just pull the top of the weed. For example:

• A friend lovingly calls out your tendency to gossip instead of uplift others. Desiring easy repentance, you decide not to gossip anymore! But only around this person. Or maybe you do repent from gossip but continue to act self-righteous and think rudely of others.

• Your pastor speaks about the dangers of pornography and you feel convicted of your nightly habit. Desiring easy repentance, you decide to not watch it anymore! Instead, you begin fantasizing about sexually immoral things.

• Your time in the Bible lately has convicted you of your sin of gluttony and placement of food as an idol. Desiring easy repentance, you decide you'll stop binging! However, you turn to alcohol to satisfy and numb you instead.

Never in the Bible is repentance promised to be easy. To properly pull a weed, it takes an intricate, motivated focus to ensure that the roots are out of the ground. At first, if you just pull the top of the weed, it may look as if the life-sucking, unwelcome thing is gone! Give it a week, though, and all of a sudden, it's back and stronger than before. Frustrated, you scream, "I yanked this weed out! Why is it back?"

You have to pull weeds up by the roots.

In my struggle with this sin, I have to analyze patterns in my life and find where they began - their root. I have to dig deeper into my hurt of the past. I have to replace the root systems of lies that I have believed far too long with the Truth.

Lie: "[Insert sin here] will satisfy me and make me feel good in a way that God just can't."

Truth: "For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." Psalm 107:9

Lie: "I'm already too far deep in this sin. It is impossible for me to get out now."

Truth: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Lie: "Okay, I'll just do better next time. I won't make any drastic changes or form boundaries to prevent me from falling into temptation."

Truth: "And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire." Matthew 18:8-9

Oh, the freedom that is in true repentance! It is easy to think that sin brings freedom. We're choosing what we want, after all. But it enslaves you. You know it does! May we pull up the roots of sin in our lives without hesitation. May we abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good (Romans 12:9)! May we bear fruit that is pleasing in the sight of our gracious God!

"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

Your sister in Christ,

Jadyn